Dear Lisa Ann: Dating ‘milfs,’ igniting the sexual spark after kids, planning the perfect date night + more!

Former No. 1 Adult Film Star Lisa Ann has been putting the “fantasy” in SiriusXM’s Fantasy Sports Radio every Monday night at 10 pm ET for awhile now, but she also knows a thing or two about real life. Each week, she’ll be answering your burning questions about sex, relationships and her personal life. This time around, she’s tackling: The difference between Facebook friends vs. real friends, managing her Psoriasis, and the after effects of a career in the adult film industry.

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Dear Lisa Ann,

Wife is not as freaky or fun as she used to be. Sex is very very vanilla and it’s driving me crazy cause she’s hot and I want to get back what she used to be like.  She’s 39 years old. We are married 15 years with 2 kids. Any ideas to spark her again? 

– Vanilla Sex

Dear Vanilla Sex,

Let’s talk, okay. Now, I don’t have children, but I have many friends who do, and I know it is an incredible amount of constant stuff. Just stuff, everything from play time to sick time, meal time to laundry time, just stuff and lots of it. I want to recommend to you a book – WillPower. Read it. I think it will really give you perspective on why things are the way they are in your life and resulting in what you are missing in your sex life right now.

In all reality, there is a time and a place for everything. I know you already had a really good time together, have made two beautiful children, and now your place is very different. I say you should look into the future and realize you can make all this up later in life.

Right now it is always hectic, and there is a lot of STUFF in the way. The less pressure you put on sex, the more freely it will come. The most important fact, I saved for last: For women, sex doesn’t start in the bedroom. BOOM!

Let me explain. When things are tense and things are hectic as the day goes on, sex gets pushed as if it was a book on the counter and as more STUFF happens it gets closer and closer to falling on the floor. When it keeps coming, it is pushed right off the counter and you are back to square one the next day.

I know, my analogies are random but basic, and you get it, I know you do. Want to have some hot sex with your wife? Try this experiment; Take 3 consecutive days and exceed her daily expectations. Help more, surprise her with a clean house. There are so many things you can do to keep that book on the counter waiting for you to take at the end of the day.

Once it works flawlessly, strike that balance regularly, value what you have and look back at the past and keep it there. Live in the now!

– Lisa Ann

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Dear Lisa Ann, 

Big fan! 😉 I’m a 25 year old man have a big milf fetish — have been with one milf so far, hoping for more opportunities! What is that best way to impress a milf?

– Got Milf?

Dear Got Milf?,

A little story for you. Way before the Milf was a thing, I taught my guy friends about what I, at the time, called “calendar Mom’s!” A calendar Mom is now a “Milf,” and what that means is she is on a strict schedule. When my guy friends were going to college or busy with their career, I always suggested the search out a calendar Mom. She knows her schedule in advance and is too busy to have you, for lack of a better term, up her ass! This allowed my guy friends to have fun lives without having to lock into a serious relationship. It was the perfect plan.

Some tips for the Milf hunt; there is a tone that is imperative in the successful reach of a Milf. Manners and grammar are your everything. Do NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT come at her with the abbreviated, lame texts you send your friends like “where you at?” I suggest something along these lines: “Hello, hope you are having a good day.” This is enough to make her smile, and she will feel like you are not demanding a response. When trying to date an older woman, you must be respectful, you can never be bossy and most important, don’t be obsessive in any way. I am hoping this is helpful and that you have a successful mission. Please keep me posted!

– Lisa Ann

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Dear Lisa Ann,

Have you ever been to Alaska?

– Last Frontiersman

Dear Last Frontiersman,

Great question…thank you! Ironically, Alaska is the only state in the United States I have not visited. After playing Palin in the Hustler Series “Who’s Nailin Paylin,” I reached out to every club or event location to try to appear there, but every single response was the same they all said “it would be bad for business!”

I have to admit this made me even more intrigued with Palin and the loyalty she had created in Alaska. I couldn’t tell if it made me feel safe or afraid, but I can’t judge that yet.  It is still on my bucket list to visit there, but not for work, I would like to take a nature tour, camp out and see the stars at night.

– Lisa Ann

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Dear Lisa Ann,

What is your ideal date night?

– Dream Dater

Dear Dream Dater,

My ideal first date would be more on the casual side. The pressure of a first date is enough, worrying about what to wear and going to a fancy restaurant really kicks the insanity up a notch. Ideally a basketball game, first pick, but a baseball game would be fun, too. Something where it is comfortable to sit and talk, yet enough other things to look at and talk about as well. People watching adds a lot of banter. We all get nervous on a first date. Between that first date and hopefully more games, a perfect date night can include getting dressed up for each other. Planning it in advance, going to a new spot and taking a new adventure from time to time.  A nice dinner, some wine and then go directly home to continue the fun where there is no interruptions.

– Lisa Ann

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