Dear Lisa Ann: May-December romance, getting over a break-up and living healthier

Former No. 1 Adult Film Star Lisa Ann has been putting the “fantasy” in SiriusXM’s Fantasy Sports Radio every Monday night at 10 pm ET for awhile now, but she also knows a thing or two about real life. Each week, she’ll be answering your burning questions about sex, relationships and her personal life. This time around, she’s tackling: The difference between Facebook friends vs. real friends, managing her Psoriasis, and the after effects of a career in the adult film industry.

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Dear Lisa Ann,

Over the past three years, I have lost both of my parents and in October last year my long-term partner and I separated. Sadly this has led to me losing a number of friendships (thankfully not all) that came into my life through her.

I realize it’s impossible to change the past and I have been trying hard not to look back too often. However, it’s hard not to have those negative moments when you dwell on the people and things you’ve lost.

Having read some of your blogs, I realize I am already doing many of the things I need to be doing. I’m indulging in my favorite things, (sports, music, exercise, reading, etc.), I’m getting out and doing some volunteer work, I’m being the best friend I can be to the people left in my life, and every day I try to do a random act of kindness.

I find all of these things are helping to rebuild my self-esteem and sense of happiness, but it’s just not the same as being in love and sharing your life with someone.

Any suggestions for how I can deal with these lonely times?

– Trying to Rebuild

Dear Trying to Rebuild,

First, I would like to speak for myself and all of my readers as we offer our condolences for your losses. You have been forced to adjust to some very difficult changes. Though you were faced with these changes in a short period of time, it is going to take a much longer time to actually adjust, accept and manage everything. It will take you time and patience to find your peace with it all, but you will. I can see you taking the daily steps by the awesome list of things you are already doing.

This is also a great time of freedom in your life to do some solo exploration. Traveling alone can be very inspiring and it can help you build some of your own new memories. Once you are out and about, meeting new people will just come to you naturally. This is also the perfect time to read. Pick up a new hobby, learn a language and expand your mind. This will help you rebuild your self-confidence, while giving you some really cool, new things to talk about.

Be patient and positive every day.

– Lisa Ann

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Dear Lisa Ann,

Do you think it is ok for a man in his 60s to have a relationship with a woman in her late 30s or 40s.

– Into Younger Women

Dear Into Younger Women,

I am a big believer that age really is just a number. I have friends of every age and through them I can see our connection is more about each individual person, their personality, and how they live, than how old they are. In a relationship and in dating, I think how well you connect with someone should speak louder than how old they are. The most important thing I can say here is this, if the end goal is to be happy with someone. Don’t let stats like age distract you from going with your heart.

– Lisa Ann

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Dear Lisa Ann,

I have bad eating habits, I’m not even gonna lie. I need help in being healthy again!

– Bad Eating Habits

Dear Bad Eating Habits,

You have taken the first step, right here, by admitting that you have a bad habit with bad foods. The second step is to always be prepared. I have found that the more consistent I am with having healthy options available, the less likely I am to grab something that is not healthy for me. You could start with making the work week your time to commit to packing healthy snacks along with a healthy lunch. Eating dinner at home can also help you stay committed to eating consistently healthy for your work week. I always pre-cook chicken breasts and have them ready to cut over a salad, heat up with vegetables or put in an omelets for breakfast. It is all about preparation and staying on schedule with your trips to the grocery store. The weekends can be your time to eat what you choose, good or bad. This will make the break-up from bad foods easier to manage and eventually, after you feel the results of your healthy diet during the week, you will crave less bad foods over the weekend.

– Lisa Ann

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